Feelings

Sometimes I just feel lost.. I am wandering around blind and aimlessly. I think I am making good decsions then it all seems like it is crumbling around me. I have my kids here and my step kids. I am trying ot treat them as I would my own but they just don't care. They treat me and my kids like we don't belong. I walked in the boys room the other day to hear my step son say to my son "this is my Dad's house he bought it and this playstation was bought for me and my sister" Well what the hell.... I wanted to grab that boy and spank his ass... where did the respect go??? My husband and I bought the house togather and while he might have put a down payment on the house the way it works with child support I bring in more money so hey it all works out and not matter what it is OUR home. This means mine my hubby's and all five kids equally. I corrected him nicely all the while wantting to scream at the top of my lungs. Plaese note that if I do something with my kids I do with all of them even if Dad is not coming along. He doesn't see it says I am seeing things that aren't there am I hearing them too. I even asked them if they treated their step father this way and they say no. I begged my husband to bring them here so we could all hang get to know each other .... it is so sad to say I will never ask again. I so looked forward to haveing them and now I have such mixed emotions I hate to take mine home and can't wait to see his leave.. I never wanted to be the mean step mom but no matter what i try they just are nasty to me if daddy isn't watching. Why are kids so hurtful. I have an 11 hour drive I am taking with the four we have here and I was excited about it now I sit everyday and wonder "how bad will it be" God PLEASE SHOW MW THE WAY